Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize