Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
