don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
