how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
