ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
