The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
