I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
