how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i barfeds in our rink
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
