Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
