Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize