She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
