walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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