hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
