Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize