I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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