Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
