people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
