i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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