three words: i give head
three words: not that well
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i used baking grease as lip gloss
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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