god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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