Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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