i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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