He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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