May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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