I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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