His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cannot find my penis.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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