you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
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Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize