Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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