but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
