she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
