So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
