so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
