just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
