Banned from zoo.
Again?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
