Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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