idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
What drink are we having for lunch?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
