I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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