Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have tasted many bathrooms
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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