My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
