i just google imaged poop.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
