Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize