:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
