Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
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If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize