Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
