i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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