tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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