I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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