my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
