You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
