She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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