hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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