This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
