I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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