Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
