Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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