Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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