it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
