Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
