coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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