Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
