My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
