Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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