I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it hurts more in the daytime
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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