Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
